The Princess Switch

What could possibly be better than Vanessa Hudgens in a Christmas fairytale? Two Vanessa Hudgenses in a Christmas fairytale, that’s what. In what’s essentially a remake of The Parent Trap with Lindsey Lohan or even It Takes Two with the Olsen twins, Hudgens plays two identical-looking people from completely different backgrounds. First, there’s Chicago baker

Deep Blue Sea 3

Sharks are scary, right? That’s a thing. Apparently not, at least not according to sexy marine biologist Dr. Emma Collins (Tania Raymonde). She likes nothing more than diving in shark-infested waters and has even befriended a great white, who she calls Lisa.Sometimes, I think Lisa is more “human” than some of the people I know.OK,

The Expendables

The Expendables is a true guy’s movie. If you read that statement and thought, “Great! This one’s for me,” then you’re probably an arsehole because “guy’s movie” is shorthand for “some dumb shit written for overgrown boys who struggle with actual feelings.” The problem isn’t that this movie is essentially a series of contrivances designed

Love, Guaranteed

One of the best things about romantic dramas is that they often feature actors and actresses you haven’t seen for 20 years. Watch enough of them and you will see Sabrina the Teenage Witch, one of the twins off of Sister, Sister, and Danica McKellar (Winnie Cooper from The Wonder Years). Love, Guaranteed’s forgotten star

The Meg

A Jason Statham movie about a massive shark? Of course I’ll be watching. The Meg has shit written all over it, and it does not disappoint. The movie stretches Statham to the limits of his acting ability, and that means we’re going to see all five of his looks: angry, charming, smiling, thinking, and troubled.

Honey 2

Honey 2? Well, of course they made it, and they did so despite the fact the fact that nobody at anytime anywhere has ever said, “You know what, I’d like to watch a sequel to that Jessica Alba dance movie.” Surely if you want more Honey, you just re-watch Honey. Also surely, 90% of the

Ava

Since starring in Zero Dark Thirty back in 2012, Jessica Chastain has been one of the most reliable actors around. She’s always believable and seems to bring the skills of a character actor to leading roles… And then there was X-Men: Dark Phoenix, in which she played Vuk – that’s right, Vuk – an evil,

Hawk the Slayer

Hawk the Slayer is widely regarded as being one of the worst movies ever made. First, it’s a sword and sorcery film, which, back in the early 80s, was a sure sign of mediocrity. You might now associate this genre with Game of Thrones and Lord of the Rings, but back then, it was Conan

Over The Top

They don’t make movies like this anymore; Over the Top is cinematic gold. Yes, you will have to overlook the acting, the massive plot holes, the complete lack of character depth, and the general presence of Robert Loggia, but despite all of that, if you’re not moved by this simple tale of a long-distance trucker

Carbon Copy

When it comes to shit movies, how shit is too shit? At what point does entertaining predictability just become boring? The answer to both of those questions could be Carbon Copy. This movie is bad to the extent that a Google search of “Carbon Copy movie” will not give you any results for this film.