Sharks are scary, right? That’s a thing.
Apparently not, at least not according to sexy marine biologist Dr. Emma Collins (Tania Raymonde). She likes nothing more than diving in shark-infested waters and has even befriended a great white, who she calls Lisa.
Sometimes, I think Lisa is more “human” than some of the people I know.
OK, she never actually says this line, but you know she’s thinking it.
Emma is stationed on a fishing village off the coast of Africa. The island is sinking, and the surrounding waters have been overfished, so only two of the island’s original inhabitants are still living there. Despite their poverty and the loss of family, friends, and basically everyone they’ve ever known, they’re really happy people who love to sing and dance whenever they can. But that’s just how Africans are though, isn’t it?
No? That’s racist as fuck? Oh…
Anyway, they’ve been joined by Collins and her team – Shaw (Emerson Brooks), a tough, experienced diver; Spin (Alex Bhat), a computer nerd and the only guy in the movie who’s not jacked; and Miya (Reina Aoi), a Japanese researcher. They’re happily doing their work, monitoring sharks until they’re disturbed by a strange ship that turns up at the island. It has a crew made up exclusively of muscular men. They’re clearly evil.
They say they’re hunting three sharks that are behaving super aggressively, attacking anything they come across. Emma’s suspicious. “Sharks don’t behave that way,” she says. And she’s right, unless of course the sharks in question have been genetically enhanced to be super intelligent, and not just squirrel-running-through-a-maze-to-get-some-nuts intelligent. No, these creatures are incredible and easily smarter than anyone in The Expendables.
When one of the sharks gets captured by the evil crew, the other two start attacking the evil ship, even knowing how to target its weakest point. They only stop when a harpoon gun is held up to their captured brother. Somehow, from under the water, they can look up on to the deck of the ship, see the harpoon and understand that unless they swim away, their brother will be killed. Those are some pretty fucking smart sharks.
The reason for all of this intelligence is that a big pharma company is experimenting on sharks in order to develop a cure for Alzheimer’s (and sharks were the best animals for these experiments. Really? Sharks?) Obviously, if the world found out about the company’s evil, mutated sharks, it would be a PR nightmare, so the evil, muscle crew has been hired to destroy all the evidence – even if they have to kill people along the way.
Isn’t this essentially just the plot of a Fast and the Furious movie – just with added sharks?
Hobbs and Shaw, sorry, Collins and Shaw have to save the day, and there’s no time to lose. So, after changing her swimsuit, Collins gets into the water. In the following sequence, she gets some help from her friend, Lisa (the shark, remember?), because the only way to stop a bad man with a shark is a good woman with a shark – I think that’s the phrase.
As you’d expect, there’s a big, dumbass-guy, fist fight and lots of scenes of sharks eating people in comedy ways. It’s all good, no-thought-required fun. ☆☆☆
hooked on shit movies 