Honey 2

Honey 2? Well, of course they made it, and they did so despite the fact the fact that nobody at anytime anywhere has ever said, “You know what, I’d like to watch a sequel to that Jessica Alba dance movie.” Surely if you want more Honey, you just re-watch Honey. Also surely, 90% of the appeal of the first movie was Alba, and she doesn’t even appear in this film. Honey 2 is just another story about a different dancer.

If there had to be a Honey sequel, couldn’t it have focused on Honey Daniels? She’s now older, still working as a dancer/choreographer, but also combining that with being a married mother of two and director of a community dance center for underprivileged kids. Gritty stuff, but it could have still recreated the uplifting benefit concert at the end of the first film, except this time, it could have all been planned by that little kid on Heelys from the original. He’s now in college and wants to say thank you to Alba. That could have been amazing. Instead, we’ve got this, and what this is is another generic dance movie.

With this being so generic, you might be wondering whether “Not Honey” will leave her old crew to join a new crew of clearly inferior dancers? Will one of these new people be a seriously limited dancer who’s really only there to be a love interest and is always at the back of group dances? Will the new crew challenge the old crew to a battle, be humiliated, break up, and then reunite just in time to win the big contest? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes. The only dance movie staple that doesn’t show up is someone having a secret place where they go when they need to think.

The film starts with Not Honey (Kat Graham) in a juvenile detention center, dance battling another girl. OK, is dance battling actually a thing? Do people do this in real life as a genuine alternative to fighting? If so, how is it possible for people to get so angry with each other (more angry than I’ve been with anyone since at least 1994) and not just fight?

Anyway, Not Honey gets conveniently let out of juvie after a couple of minutes, and she goes to stay with actual Honey’s mom, because…I’m guessing they wanted some continuity with the first film, and this was the best they could do. Surely they could have gotten Alba to show up for a couple of minutes, given Not Honey some advice about following her dreams, maybe even shared a jump rope-inspired dance move? No? Well, OK then.

Back to the movie, Not Honey needs to stay away the leader of her old crew because he’s a thief and just all-round bad news. As luck would have it, though, there’s a ready-made crew of new dancers waiting for her at the Honey Daniels Dance Center, so there are no new-dancer-recruitment scenes like those seen in Step Up 2: The Streets or even Bring It On: Again, and this is a shame because new-dancer-recruitment scenes are amazing.

Anyway, the crew formed at the Honey Daniels Dance Center call themselves the HD Crew, which is obviously a tribute to Honey Daniels because without her, they wouldn’t even… Wait, it’s not that? It actually stands for “High Def”?…

It’s not just me; that’s a stupid name, right?

That surprise aside, the story basically plays out as you know it will. The HD crew reach the final of the televised Dance Battlezone contest where they face Not Honey’s old, evil crew. The battle ends in a tie, meaning they have to dance again but in a more aggressive face-to-face way. Classic. There is some good dancing in this movie, but the drama is weak, and although Not Honey is actually amazing, she’s still not Honey. ☆☆